Thinking of how much time you’ve wasted and how much time is left

A big part of learning to care for myself was realizing that I’d spent all of my adolescence (which had once been most of my life) steeped in self-loathing, and it would be an utter waste to spend the rest of it that way. I think getting off of social media helped a lot, too, because then you don’t live your life scrutinizing yourself through the lens of others as much (and also you realize the lens isn’t even real, because other people are also only thinking about themselves and nobody is really looking at you at all. In conversation, sit quietly and see how many questions they ask you about yourself). It’s never too late to make a change—even if you’re 60 you still probably have ten good years left. I am also obstinate and it helped to get mad about how there’s probably some wrinkly old fuck sitting on a pile of money, so excited at the opportunity to sell more potions and procedures to young girls whom he and his friends have groomed into hating themselves. Life is short but it’s also long! It’s the only one we have! I plan on living the rest of mine mostly loving myself, even if it is out of defiance and takes conscious effort, because it is a waste of time and money to do anything else (and it gets easier with practice).